Excerpt taken from Chapter 1 of Prepare for His Return! Finding God's Will in my Life




“You Lack Commitment”




     In the first volume of this book, I mentioned a seven year financial famine we had to walk through.  It was a season of learning and being set free from generational curses.  It was also a time when we clearly saw God’s merciful love flowing out onto us.

     It was during this season that the Lord began to show me that I would be writing for Him.  I had not studied anything connected with writing in College, but I had prayed to be a writer. My idea was to have a career as a writer of Christian fiction for children. I prayed with friends and felt the Lord had said I could do this.


     We did not have a computer.  I began to write on our electric typewriter.  For a while I was faithful, but when it became difficult; I stopped. I wanted to dig a hole and put the idea of writing into that hole. 


     “…So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground.  See, here is what belongs to you.”                                     

Matthew 25:25.

     It was after I had made the decision to dig that hole, that a friend called me. In prayer Our Lord had told her that He did not want me to stop writing.  And that if I did, Our Lord would take away the anointing to write that He had given to me.

     The Fear of the Lord came over me and I made a new effort to write. Again, I was not able to stay focused or to complete anything well.  After weeks of struggling, I finally turned to Our Lord in pray. “Lord, I really want to do this for You, why am I not able to do it?” Our Lord Holy Spirit gave me an immediate answer.


    He said, “You lack commitment.” 


     Although I was disappointed in myself when I heard these words, they also brought a relief.  I had received the knowledge of what I was lacking. Not knowing what I could do about this, I pressed in and asked Our Lord Holy Spirit a second question, “What can I do about that?”  Our Lord Holy Spirit again answered immediately.

           “Pray for courage.”

      My entire family was walking through many areas with Our Lord Jesus.  I brought this to my husband for agreement in prayer.  My husband brought it to our family prayer time. We all prayed for courage.

     Gifts, like courage, will come with asking Our Lord Holy Spirit for the gift. And we had to have the willingness to walk through the trials necessary to receive that gift.  Our son, my husband and I each began our walks through the trials.  We each had different trials to walk through to gain in the gift. When I was feeling stronger in my resolve to work for Our Lord Jesus, I received another Word from Our Lord Holy Spirit.


     “Pray for perseverance.”


     As with courage, I brought this prayer need to my husband, who again brought this Word to our family prayer time. We all asked Our Lord Holy Spirit for that gift.  Then we walked through new trials to gain in this next area.

     Six times in all, I received Words from Our Lord Holy Spirit that I brought to my husband and he brought to our prayer time. The other gifts that we all asked Our Lord Holy Spirit to give to us were: steadfastness, watchfulness, thankfulness, and patient endurance. (I had written more about these gifts in the first volume of this book).

     It was during the first six months of our trials that I began to see a great change in my life and in the lives of my family members. Our Lord Holy Spirit was granting our requests for the gifts. We all needed these gifts to stay on Our Lord Jesus’ course for our every day life.  These gifts came together to put commitment into everything we were doing. The value of these gifts from Our Lord Holy Spirit can not be spoken about enough. For me, my new commitment was very evident in my work of writing for Our Lord Jesus.

     The first writings were slow because correcting mistakes was awkward. Even with the awkwardness, I now gave Glory to Our Lord Holy Spirit, because I no longer felt like stopping. I became joyful and at ease with the work. Over eleven years, I had progressed from typewriter to computer and from sheets of paper to booklets. These works I would give to my friends. 

    Six years ago, I wrote one Christian Fiction.  Although Our Lord Jesus allowed it, I felt led to return to the writings that were more directly related to my life with Our Lord. I continued to write out my witnesses in booklets. In November of 2004, Our Lord Jesus showed me I was going to do something more with my witnesses. I had to put several of the booklets into a single book. Two more books followed within six months.


     “The man with the two talents also came. “Master,” he said, “you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.’

                                                   Matthew 25:22.


         Although the story of the talents in Matthew 25 seemed to be unfolding with the better ending for me, I knew that it was Our Lord’s involvement that brought about all this work.  Both the gifts of Our Lord Holy Spirit, His power to help me and precious guidance by Our Lord Jesus were all responsible for all the writings.  And I knew it was Our Father’s will for me.

     When I said I was a servant of Our Lord Jesus, I had to really mean this.  Our Lord Jesus wanted more for me. Our Lord Jesus wanted to call me His friend, but I had to make the choices that allowed Jesus to do this. Our Lord Jesus hoped my first choice was to work for Him with love for His personal commands for my life.  And I knew that I would need everything Our Lord Jesus and Our Lord Holy Spirit wanted to give to me to do this.


      “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.  He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”

                                                         Matthew 14:21


      There was even more to consider.  Jesus worked for Our Father with reverence and trust in all that Our Father asked Him to do.  Our Father made Jesus the Head of the body. I used to pick and choose what I wanted to do for Our Lord in some kind of Christian buffet.  I may have wanted to be part of the fingers on that hand over there.  Or I might have wanted to be a foot in the race of faith going on in another area. When I decided to honor Our Father by trusting Our Lord Jesus (Our Head) to choose for me, I became part of the body that worked to advance the coming of Our Father’s New Jerusalem.

    As the work progressed through the books this year, my relationship to the Lord had grown deeper; along with my commitment.  I had become comfortable knowing that new directions may mean I would have a need for new growth in my life. I knew that all new growth would require commitment to walk through any trials involved. Step by step Jesus was lovingly leading me to all the growth I needed to some day hear these Words;


     “…Well done, good and faithful servant!”

                                                 Matthew 25:23b. 


     Prepare for His Return! Finding God’s Will in My Life © 2005 Paula Russo


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Paula Russo | P.O. Box 950987 | Lake Mary, FL 32795 |paula@acloserwalkwithgod.com